As I write this post, I’m looking around my surroundings, including that big bottle of wine staring at me; thinking; 'one step at a time’ as I attempt to type this out as my sober self. The movie Goodfellas is playing in the background and I’m contemplating whether I want to be completely transparent or tell half truths.
I attended a women’s meeting last night about empowerment and networking; one of the things they mentioned when it comes to networking is, that being authentic and sharing things about yourself is one of the best things a person can do, because it helps others see the human side of you. It strengthens and encourages others to connect on a deeper level to help serve a shared purpose. It’s like yes, I went through this too, I got through it, and so can you; type of thing. It’s human connection, because we need it. I remember thinking 'wow, that’s interesting' in a good way.
You see, I’m a Leo pescatarian, and so I’m the type of person that tends to go through things alone and MAYBE I’ll talk about it later, to those closest to me. But I am now understanding that as a solo artist and a person, I am not the only one going through things, and at best, having a support system is necessary, beneficial, and absolutely worth it. Especially in the adult industry. (I just never want to be a burden on others. That’s the ultimate method to my madness.)
Now I get it, you never want to reveal too much about your true self in this business. There’s the real life you, with families and spouses and all that jazz. (I think I speak for most of us when I say as parents, there’s a level of secrecy you want to keep.) And then on the flip side I think it’s fair to say, there’s the version of you, that you want fans to see. The fantasy you and all the dirty thoughts you, yourself have been thinking but couldn’t or wouldn’t dream of sharing it with your friends, let alone your spouse. (For the record, I am still one of those people. I don’t talk about any of this shit to my friends. They’d never understand). So sometimes sharing your true self isn’t always the smartest option. It’s almost like this double edge sword. But as time permits, and social media comes on the rise, resources dwindling away, I now realize, in this day and age, and given my own circumstances, it is a bit necessary for me to finally share some intimate things about my true self. Key word, SOME. I still have a private life that I’d like to keep. LOL…
So here goes nothing.
Some of you may already know this, but I’ll share it again. I’ve been in the adult entertainment business for over 12 years. On and off. I’m a mother, so I toyed with it for many years. I’d come online for extra money (like so many of us do - it’s the driving force of survival) and then I’d disappear because I didn’t want to become too popular and have old things resurface and embarrass my loved one. I started out as a phone sex operator who was using stock photos at the time. It was way easier then, because there was no chat option so all fans had was one profile picture, my voice to fall in love with, and the rest was history. After a while fans began to request ebony content from me (it was almost as if they knew I wasn’t a white woman with big boobs - no shade all tea). With that, and after my divorce from my second marriage, I began going as myself and quickly grew into being a webcam model. It literally happened overnight. I became popular and I was earning good money. I was able to have a day time part-time job and do adult entertainment part-time at night from the comfort of my own home, while still being a mom who was present.
I realized, I genuinely loved it, as it afforded me the opportunity to explore my sexual side on my terms. It was a life outside of being a parent. It was my opportunity to be an adult. It was a win win sitch. One of the ways I was able to be so popular, was by advertising myself on classified ad sites and social media. That was it. Classified ad sites had the personals section and I was able to post my services, and my links. People found me, followed me, and all was totally well. I only posted my content on X. That was the only social media platform that ever allowed adult content and it was still perfect for me because it felt like an exclusive community. Of course I posted as my fantasy self. I was living the good life as an adult entertainer. My life was quiet and just the way I liked it. I didn’t have to break my budget to get myself known. I was able to earn, pay bills, feed my kid, and save. It really didn’t or couldn’t get easier than that.
I was on platforms like Niteflirt, TalkToMe, MFC, Manyvids, and LiveJasmin (I know, I was everywhere. There’s more but I don’t want to bore you with my smutty ways). All major platforms and I wasn’t getting a lick of an audience, (can you believe that?) until I started putting up ads. In fact, I was so naive at first, that I thought I was doing something important when I did a bit of research on MFC. I looked up the models who were on the first page, versus the models on the last page. No one was checking for the models on the last page and I wondered why that was. I signed up anyway, and quickly learned I too was one of the models on the last page, despite being online. Not one soul was checking for me. I started promoting myself on classified ad sites and that’s when the big boom began to happen. It was like magic. I was ecstatic and grateful to the classified ad sites for being so supportive by even having categories for US!
Years later, I looked up chatting services, found SextPanther, and signed up to be a model. I quickly learned that I could make a ton of money from chatting! Bitch whaaaaa!!!! Chatting??? Sign me up QUICK! I was hooked. Again, to get known, I went to classified ad sites and put up a post. I kid you not, within minutes of me putting up my post on the classified ads and adding my personalized link, I was getting notifications that I was being saved as a contact, and the guys (and girls) were sending me messages. It was like pure gold!
Fast forward, I lost my loved one (as in death) and I took a break for personal reasons. I was completely fucked up. For a while I was even adamant about quitting the adult entertainment business all together. Despite me enjoying it personally, I just didn’t see any purpose if I didn’t have my loved one to care for anymore. So, I buried myself in my full time job and minded my business. I was like a fucking robot. Literally walking in these streets on auto-pilot with no direction, depressed, and bored like hell. It wasn’t until I was on the verge of a stroke (yes, an actual stroke, BP at almost 200! Yikes!!) that I decided to not only get help but start doing what I enjoyed most again, to help me get through the pain and rediscover myself. Side-note: you’ll never be able to move forward if you don’t face the pain you’re going through, so you’ll have the tools to know how to grow for your future self. No matter how dark the storm is; it is important to ask, what can I learn from this? Get yourself to the light.
Anyway, I got back into the business on a part-time basis. I started off small with just Sext Panther for chatting services. Like clock work, I posted an ad on the free classified ads and poof, I was contacted by new fans within minutes. You’ve got to understand I was on hiatus for about a year and a half and my rank as they would call it, was on the bottom of bottoms. But that didn’t matter to me. I’m not very competitive. I only cared about getting contacts, and escaping my reality for a few hours. I wasn’t ignorant to the facts, I knew I wouldn’t be listed on their first page. I knew I had to be proactive with getting new contacts by sharing my link on classified ad sites. So I did. It was like riding a bike. Before I knew it, not only was I getting more contacts by the minute, but they were enjoying me so much they were asking me when I’d be back on. I was sharpening my phone sexting skills while building meaningful connections in a judgement free zone. I felt good, and you know what they say, you want to keep doing what makes you feel good and happy.
Though totally unexpected, I later created my own chatting site; Luxurious Pleasures. I was super excited not only create a platform but build and be a part of a community that’s new and exclusive because I pretty much dropped from the major sites (like, Talk to me) and chatting is one of my all time favorite ways to get feisty. I’m like yessss, I can talk nasty while I’m crying in the corner due to grief, clean up my face long enough to type out my message or send a pic of my va-j-j and still get paid. Now that’s not to say I haven’t gotten help. I did get help, I went to therapy and all. They even encouraged me to do things I like, to help with my grief. They don’t know what my actual interests entail and that’s okay. The point is, every time I get naughty, I feel alive. I’m able to get through my pain and build connections. I can be an adult, express my sexual fantasies, and be carefree in the moment. Now when it comes to advertising, I used the same tactics I have for the major sites. I put out ads in the classified section and poof, next thing I know, I’m getting saved as a favorite. Fans are chatting with me, and tipping me. Now despite having done this for several years, it somehow still amazed me that the results were so quick. I wasn’t complaining either.
Now here comes my most transparent take on marketing and what my experience has been based on research and actual experience. As an independent model and PSO, I know all of those sites use campaigns to get traffic (I equally pay for traffic). That’s understandable. BUT I also know that as an independent artist, my hunger cannot and will not solely rely on any of the websites to bring my personalized link, traffic (my site is of no exception). That’s just cold hard the truth of it all. Lil ole me needs to be seen for what I have to offer. I love exploring all avenues for promotion including free ad sites. The more resources for exposure, the better! Plus I remember times when I couldn’t pay for ads so the free classified ad sites were super beneficial.
Another cold hard truth; major ad websites where I know I could potentially get a shit ton of traffic, like Facebook, Instagram, Google, YouTube do not allow adult content or at least they claim they don’t. I cannot count how many times I’ve seen obscene shit on Facebook and they deemed it “safe”. I’m not complaining, I am merely pointing out the double standard that’s clearly going on with these platforms that claim to want to practice safety and community guidelines while simultaneously limiting the actual fantasy performers and simply tellings us we have no seat at their table. Meanwhile, I’ve seen strip club posts, escort posts (no shade to the escorts, get in where you fit in, werk it good! I want to say, I love everyone), but somehow, PSOs and Webcam models are banned for “soliciting sex services”. I just couldn’t wrap my head around that. So I was even more grateful for the free ad sites. Until they suddenly vanished.
Picture it, Thanksgiving day, (aka, not too long ago), I attempted to make a classified ad post about my services like I always do. No, I don’t care what holiday it is. The bigger the holiday, the better! You’d be surprised how many people either don’t celebrate holidays or don’t have someone to celebrate it with, so they'll actually connect with you just to celebrate it with you. And so given the fact that I now have no loved one to celebrate holidays with myself, getting paid to provide someone with virtual companionship sounds like another win win sitch. I can cry myself to the bank and I get the opportunity to not dwell on the tragedy of my new reality. It’s a healthy balance.
So anyway, back to creating my ad on said free classified ad site; I went through typing a long paragraph with a bunch of hashtags in my draft, only for it to not go live. I tried reloading the site, and got yet another error page. I moved on to their sister sites, same thing. It’s like they have completely vanished. I panicked! My entire holiday weekend was quieter than a desert. And I’m talking all adult platforms; not one lick of a hit on any of them. I was twitchy! I waited a few hours, thinking maybe it was my connection, restarted my router; even asked my friend to check the free ad websites and come to find out, they were really out. I even checked on another site that tells you if a site is down for everyone, and sure enough, it was. I thought to myself, what’s the teachable moment here? Because I don’t like to hoard information, I always share with others who could benefit from it. I researched competitors of those sites that are now down and found a list of about 40 sites that offer a classified personals section where we can add our fantasy services. Well after testing that bullshit out, turns out we can’t post there either. In fact, out of the 40 sites on the list, only one was working and allowed that kind of post. But the kicker is, you can’t even say things like phone sex services because they deem the word “sex" as an abusive term. I’m not kidding, they automatically flag you as abusive. I thought I was in the twilight zone because I’d just seen an ad for escorting services. I did another search for free classified sites where we could post for services and I found a list of ad sites specifically for escorts to post their services. Nothing for phone sex or webcam workers. It was so heartbreaking. Marketing is super important to help get us out there.
Before my hair could jump off my head, I decided to get a glass of wine to rewire my energy and my purpose. Because truth be told, society will shit on us so much that we’ll start to feel like what’s the fucking point?! I was going through these sites, and seeing posts (APPROVED POSTS) nevertheless of escorting services and personal ads for hooking up. I gagged!!!! I said, wait a minute, wait a fucking minute, are they saying escorts can post (again no shade) but PSOs and Webcam models can't? Because they deem us to be soliciting for sex???? I was so thoroughly confused and frustrated. I said to myself, okay Diana, don’t panic AGAIN. Keep calm, so your resources are limited, no problem. There’s always Locanto right? WRONG. Days later I logged into Locanto to find all of my listings DELETED. Locanto was another site that not only had the personals category, but they had sub-categories for escort services, phone sex, and cam services, massage services, etc. Locanto was considered GOLDEN! So to see the categories gone and then my listings gone, I said "what the fuck is happening here?!” In all fairness, they deleted the escorts category too! Just nuts!
I genuinely wondered what happened. Was it because they felt like people were spamming? Were they posting links that didn’t work? Was it a takedown? Like what was it? Most of the resources that I’ve known to be beneficial for my businesses have been compromised. Just gone. I had proven track records of ongoing traffic using those sites. Now, I’ve tried free sites, and I’ve tried paid sites for advertising. I must say, and everyone’s experience is different… the free sites were more beneficial than the paid sites. For me personally.
After a while I thought that by paying for an ad space or a feature; would bring more traffic and hits but it did the opposite. The free sites worked better. They gave not just more results but quicker results. I remember a time I posted an ad and within minutes 10 to 15 people were saving me as a contact. The more I thought about the potential reason Locanto shut it down the more I became infuriated. They still had the personals section up, but for real personal reasons like people actually hooking up to date and have sex with no strings attached. I was honestly disgusted. Not because of what they have up now, hey, to each its own free will, if people want to fuck for free, go for it, that’s their right. I was upset because it was like how dare you tell us we can’t advertise our sites for whatever foolish reason, and then under the same breath make it just as easy for free sex (as if people still can’t find a way to make someone pay for it, off the books) even though there are sites for that too. So they can post but we can’t? Again, this was my true feeling about it. Until I quickly got over it. I did a whole woosa moment; chanting, you can feel this feeling but your feeling must obey you. In other words, don’t spend too much time in this feeling of frustration.
Here’s the part where I suddenly get over it. I thought, Diana shut the fuck up. It’s not that deep! These are those people’s sites and they can do whatever the fuck they want to do. Chalk it up and keep it moving. But then it dawned on me. Why not make a free forum site focused on PSO and Webcam advertisement, myself? Because Lord knows, I’ve signed up for forum sites that claim we can advertise services on their platform and then they’ll have a long list of rules that also includes no advertising allowed. (See what I said there? It’s the talking out of both sides of their mouths for me. It was very much giving; we can advertise on our own site but you can’t. - They clearly had an agenda to advertise their own sites. They were not there to truly support PSOs. I deleted my accounts asap). I brainstormed before I started the forum site, because I wanted to know why these sites:
A. Shut down after a while?
B. Change the rules to no PSO and Webcamming advertising?
No like really, what is the tea? Premium phone sex is not illegal and what’s even better is, it’s safe because everyone gets to stay in their respective places while having adult virtual fun. What does everyone else have against phone sex operators and webcam models? Why are we not afforded the same opportunity or specific platforms to advertise our phone services for free? Is there something I’m missing? Did I not look hard enough? Or could it be that they want PSOs and Webcam models to pay for traffic? Like seriously speaking, some workers, especially if they’re just starting out, don’t have the financial means and or connections to help them get noticed. And if I’m being 1000% honest here, dare I say that some of us have gone so far as to spend our last dollar on promotion only to have no guarantee that traffic will be brought to our respective links let alone it turning into a conversion. But I will say, results differ so don’t just take my full account or experience on it. It’s always a hit or miss and everyone is different.
I’ve also hired freelancers from Fiverr. Some freelancers were good, others did the bare minimum. All they did was put up an ad on the very same classified sites that I was putting ads up on. So I basically paid them to do what I could've done for free. Granted, Fiverr can bring on a lot of new guidance, connections, and information. I’ll admit some of the free sites I have used, I got them from a freelancer on Fiverr, so there was a benefit there.
Anyway, enough of my rant. I took notes, did more research and so check it out, PSO Finder was born. It’s a legit free forum site. All I’m doing is bringing traffic to the site. Nothing special. All PSOs and Webcam models have to do, is interact and share their links. It’s that simple. It’s an alternative to the free ad sites, and another free source aside from social media.
Now, I do have rules for the site. Because I want to make sure no one tries to come for us. I legit want people to leave us the fuck alone and let us be in our own tiny community, chillin, being adults, and keeping it cute. So for all users, keep it safe, keep it sexy, keep it respectful, keep it LEGAL. As long as we do those things we should be good to go for a long time. And that’s what we want. Our own free community that offers purpose, substance, and longevity.
The website is for fans to come and discover their new favorite based on their fetish, fantasy, and interest. It’s for fans who actually want to pay to see and talk with PSOs and Webcam models. We don’t have a tolerance level for freeloaders. When you register for the site, be sure to read the messages that were written for you, this is for PSOs, Webcam models, and fans alike. We’re like an Angie’s list but in the form of adult content for PSOs and Webcam models. If you know anyone who may be looking for an adult virtual fun time, share the site. The more traffic we get, the more likely you’ll bring traffic to your personalized links. Anyone can share their personalized link as long as it’s secure, safe, trusted, and to your PSO and/or webcam model pages. No porn links, no escort links, no outside payment links, no taboo links, no links to pictures and so forth. You get the drift. So if you’re on NiteFlirt, SextPanther, Luxurious Pleasures, ManyVids, Streammates, Imlive, MFC, or any local phone sex operation company with a link you are more than welcome to post your link free of charge. No gimmicks, no bullshit. You don’t need a phone number either. I’ve been on advertising sites, like phone sex parlor who require a phone number in order to advertise with them. Pictures have to be black and white yada yada yada. And they charge!!! They actually owe me a refund because they never approved my ad. Ha!
So to close this out, I know I’ve said a lot. Some may have more questions about me or not, and that’s okay. I wanted you to really get to know me as a person and why I am doing what I’m doing; overall. I just got sick of being counted out. I got sick of being labeled as someone who’s soliciting sex.
Can you tell that I was sick and tired? LOL..
But seriously, that shit is so false and corny. This is a business. We are in adult entertainment, this is work just like anyone else. And just like everyone else who enjoys their job, so do we, and we absolutely should not be shamed or banned for that.
Dear freeloaders, don’t be offended. Ya’ll literally have several classified ads and hookup sites where you can find your next lay, and with all due respect have at it. Most of us on this side of the fence have a whole life that we like to get back to, once we explore our kinks virtually and get paid to do so. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. We provide a service, we relieve stress safely, we get paid for our service, and then we use our earnings to serve our own purpose, be it donating to a cause, shopping for groceries, taking care of our own loved ones, or shit going on vacation after fans just told us some freaky shit and we need to be on the beach to reminisce. The list goes on an on.
No shade, all tea. If you want to play, you have to pay. It’s the rules of the game, and when you really think about it, you’re in total control of your fantasy judgement free, you’re helping someone who is helping you. Money is not meant to be hoarded. It’s meant to serve a purpose. Even if that purpose entails having a meaningful virtual connection with a consenting professional adult who shares the same interests as you do.
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! If you know anything about Leo’s we either don’t share at all or we overshare. One thing that’s important to remember, is when we do share a lot it means we care and we genuinely want to make a difference, so we have zero regrets about sharing. All we care about is who it’s helped. My story wasn’t meant for you to feel sorry for me, or sympathize, it was meant to touch you in a deeper place by saying, I’m human too, I’ve been through trying times myself (still do go through things) but if we build a community of support within this industry, we can and will get through it in the most healthy way possible. We are the flex because we are so fucking cool and open-minded even when we’re being labeled as monsters with careless empty souls. We still keep quiet and put a smile on our faces. At the end of the day, why not build our own family? One with compassion, good health, support, and love for ourselves, each other, and our craft. Take the long spoon to feed each other. ❤️
To post your services and links or if you’re looking for PSO and Webcam services, visit PSO Finder.
Cheers! (I’m going to get my glass of wine and cook now. Besos!)
