Ya’ll I was crashing out

Picture it, I'm at home, editing my videos to post on xxxfollow.com and it suddenly dawned on me once again, that I no longer have my special loved one. Though I feel his presence spiritually and I can certainly appreciate that, some times, it still hurts to not have him in real time. It's a hole in my heart that simply won't recover. 

So, I'm crying, I'm talking sobbing, uncontrollably, and talking with my friend about how sensitive I feel about this situation and I go on to explain to her how much I truly do enjoy being an adult performer because this line of work takes me away from the sad moments like this. I'm thinking to myself pull yourself together girl.

My nose is all stuffy and I'm blowing to relieve it when suddenly, my phone began to ring on Sextpanther. I was startled. I hadn't realized my phone call status was still on. I quickly blew my nose and sniffled a bit to try and sound normal. 

I connected the phone call and it was my regular fan who randomly called me. It was as if he knew I was sad and decided to call me in that moment. Our call made me instantly get it together and get into character.  It was everything I needed in that time because I was kept busy, I was concentrating on fulfilling a fantasy, and I was making some money. Good money, he's a big spender. 

When we were done with our call, I didn't feel the need to start crying again. The sadness had passed. My phone call literally reminded me of why I started back up with doing this again and going full time at that. It was to remind me of how much I enjoy this and how much I am loved. My homegirl asked me what I got out of this just before I had my phone call. I answered her after my phone call and said "I was literally crashing out on the phone with you. I just had a phone call and now I feel better. I get my entire life out of this. That is what I get. I get reminded that I am still alive and I need to live." With that, she said, "I heard that!" - and we both laughed.